When you wake up days later and realize it’s days later but you realize you don’t miss those days at all and are glad you got to avoid them.

outofcontextdnd:

outofcontextdnd:

Is this an out of context quote or did you mean to submit this to a depression blog?

Buddy that’s my personal blog you’re thinking about

wlwlenaluthor:

Stop Calling Me Valid You Fucks I’m Here To Die

bouchemordue:

nothing is awkward or cheesy if you dont give a fuck. im on this earth to have a good time not to be seen as cool

when you’re in a public restroom and you see a piece of wet toilet paper on the floor

danekez:

gaygothur:

butt-berry:

Manga Koffing is showing me an expression I’ve never seen before yet an emotion I 100% identify with:

aces-and-anime:

teenagebarbarianbeard:

artisanbloodbank:

hubblegleeflower:

twentyonelizards:

wombatking:

newtgeiszler:

jesterofthetraveler:

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney – early 20th century

Eric Andre – Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi – Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves – We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum – 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau – Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

this is david lynch erasure

Who are the female immortals?

Jenny Slate – Jazz Age Darling, bffs with Alice Roosevelt

Helena Bonham Carter – Refused an invitation to dine with Queen Victoria based on her treatment of the Irish

Lucy Liu – ran away from home to join Ching Shih, 19th century Pirate Queen’s crew. Was considered too soft for fighting and was given an accordion

Bjork – 14th century Icelandic healer accused of witchcraft, also possibly a selkie

Whoopie Goldberg – present during the Conquest of Constantinople but don’t bring it up around her, it’s too fresh in her mind

Tilda Swinton – found sleeping in a peat bog. Carbon dating inconclusive

this is blatant cher erasure

Cher isn’t immortal – she can just turn back time

dailykrumbs:

Thigh Jutsu

Inspired by emimothvine ‘s POST!

Please Link/credit artist if reposted! Thank you!

👏 Bonus 👏Sketch

nah-guy:

bisexualwasabi:

nah-guy:

People are having trouble understanding what “big dick energy” means and tbh it’s really hard to explain because it’s sort of a feeling you get from someone, an aura more than anything else so I made this helpful graphic to hopefully make it easier to understand

For those interested in the intermediate studies of big dick energy, there is, in fact, rare instances of dick energy so vast it is currently impossible for us to fully understand. One rare example of this is shown below:

Okay this is the only correction I’ll accept