Backstory: We’re interrogating the leader of a group of cannibals. I’m a rouge, and I’m in a group with a gunslinger, a ranger, and a bard.
Mayor: I’ll die before I tell you anything!
Me: I slit his throat.
Gunslinger: We’re trying to get information.
Me: I slit his throat.
GM: Ire slits his throat.
Ranger: Why the hell did you do that you moron.
Me: I roll to compel the gods to put his spirit back into his body.
The entire party: what.
Me: *rolls nat20 plus 13*
GM: Jesus Christ, Ire somehow convinces the gods to gingerly put the guy back in his body and heal his wounds.
Me: What were you saying about dying first?
Mayor: What the fuck is wrong with you.
… I fucking love this. But I cry laughed at work.
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theoctopusnods 